| I'm smart? |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|09:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  surprised | ] |
So I guess i'm kinda smart or something |
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| haven't done one of these in awile |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|08:38 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. |
✓ I own lots of books. |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. |
✓ I love to play video games. |
✓ I've tried marijuana. |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (more than sometimes) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. |
✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... ) |
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| well this came out pretty emo |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|10:17 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | purgatory(ABQ) | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bone Thugz - Notorious thugz | ] |
The world really does enjoy shitting on me and kicking me wile i'm down. Though I am to blame for the prolonged exposure in this case. Why do I think things will work out when its obvious they won't. Why do I have to amke my self feel like shit. I just seem to set my self up to get beat down. I dont want to return my heart to my cocoon of ice in wich I hurt others more than help them. Is it selfish to prefer hurting others to hurting ones self? Alcomahol keeps me sane, at least until i drink that perfect amount were the killing spree doesn't seem like such a bad idea. My dreams keep getting darker and darker. I might be loosing it. Ever have a dream of killing everyone u know or care about with your bare hands, ripping their throats out with your teeth and then just laughing at their terrified expressions, enjoying ebvery minute of it. I dont want to revert to the heartless bastard i was, but he seems to be beating ever more loudly on the door every day. I need to find my better half and keep this demon at bay. |
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| happy |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|02:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
If your not happy here, what makes you think you'll be happy somewhere else? Is happyness a state of mind or is it something induced by your surroundings and interactions like a disease. Brings new meaning to terms like an "infectious laugh". But then why is it that when someone trys to make u happy they can make u worse? Why some torture them selves to be happy? Why cant we all be content where we are and constantly search for something we may never find? Is that our soul that drives us? Or is it our upbringing and memories that drive us tword what we think will make us happy? The human mind is a mysterious, wonderous and frightening place. I'm starting to ramble..... |
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| Viva |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|08:08 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | work | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matisyahu | ] |
Yea so i'm seriously thinking of bombing some oil companies. How the hell do these corporate fat cats get away with all this bullshit price gouging. we need to boycott their products, no mobile, no exxon, no chevron, stick to the small/non-american names like hess, bp, racetrack, kangaroo, etc. this shit has gone on long enuff now. In the desert it only cost about a quarter for a gallon of gas, yet we are paying about 3.00. Is everyone else cool with this, am i the only one thats pissed? How does the ceo of exxon retire with a 400 million dollar retirement package. He could have used that money to save the rest of us from paying out the ass at the pump. They use the slightest increase in oil to to up their gas prices for no real good reason. its about a 40-60% markup even after the inport/export fees. thats insane. Fuck that shit. Its to a point were i want to physically harm these people. Maim them and leave them with out legs across the room from the phone wich i disconnected anyway.
How is it that in this time of "oil crisis" of the top 10 earners this past year, all of the major american oil companies got in the top 10.
Number 1 Exxon Mobile raking in 36,103,000,000 in profits. Number 2 was over 11 billion below that.
Number 5 Chevron 14,099,000,000 in profits
Number 6 ConnocoPhillips 13,529,000,000 in profits
Thats some bull for you. |
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| shoobadoop |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|11:56 am] |
well wednesday is pay day and fridays is st. patty's day. never before have i seen a more devine reason to drink my self silly. not sure what i'm gonna do yet. i plan on it somehow involvingme partying like a rockstar(everclear). also at some point i must watch boondock saints. if any of you are in the ABQ area, drop me a line and i'll get ya fucked up.
anyway, in other news......
I got a new TV. and yes it is much better than yours.....bishes!
27'', widescreen(16:9), hdtv, lcd tv/monitor
i have my comp hooked up to it as well, gonna hook up the xbox and the ps2 to it this week as well. It also came with this free "air pot" wich is basically a thingy that makes hot water for shit like ramen, hot chocolate, tea, shit like that. its pretty cool but not compaired to the tv. it even has picture in picture so i can surf the web for porn wile watching the man show. |
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| Irony |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|09:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Perfect Circle - Gravity | ] |
Isn't it funny how some of your experiences, at the time, are the best things that ever happened to you, and then latter turn out to be one of the worst. Seem s to work the opposite as well. Some of the shit that you hate doing, turns out to be good for you in the long run. A blessing in disguise. and some of these things seem to cycle. sometimes it seems to be good, other times bad. perception governs it all. one wek u could be so depressed about your gf breaking up with you u that u kill your self, wile if u had not done so, a week later u would have met someone else who was even better. the world is full of mysterious bullshit. it seems like anything is possible if u aply your self. but a large factor in all of this also seems to be luck, or fate, or w/e u want to call it. like the above scenario might be true, but what if u went that extra week and didn't happen run into that person in the mall or walmart or w/e. then, wile u are more compatable with that person, your still obsessed about the original gf because u dont even know that person that u could have met even exists. this doesn't even just apply to relationships. it could also apply to pets, or something like the store is out of your favorite toilet paper so u buy some other type and like it better. It seems to apply to everything that we do. thats why i find it hard to rationalize suicide or depression. your perception of your current situation can change within moments. even though i have been depressed before, i still cant understand the minds obsession with the past and its comforts. maybe its fear of the unknown future that makes us wish for the past. but if we knew what would happen in the future, then it would be borring. all this helps me keep a positive outlook on life though. even if all the future brings is pain and suffering, i dont know that right now and can hope for things to get better and better. That seems to be the only thing driving some people, hope. but without it, i dont think anyone would really get anywhere in life. and that is why i have to thank pandora for opening that box.
this is the kind of shit i think about wile sitting at my desk at work. |
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| V-Day |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|10:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Perfect Circle - Magdelena | ] |
Hope yall had a happy one even if you are single.
I spent mine at Fridays with Dan, Mirely, Lindsey, Erick , and Dawson. Not sure y Dawson was there, but w/e, he picked up the $221(mostly alchohol) tab, not sure why on that either, but i'm not gonna complain. All-inall, we had a pretty good time and ate some gooshy foods.
In other news, my super metabolism has kicked back in and is making quick work of the pooch i developed. I tried to eat healthier and my metabolism went to crap. Now I eat w/e and its back in full force.
Work still sux. I had to move my desk again for the 3rd time this year.
I'm thinkin of getting a LCD TV. I have the money, its just that money would be tight for the next 15 days. |
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| blarg |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|11:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | zztop - la grange | ] |
I got in trouble back in oct. for reasons i will not let be known to the masses. I finally got my punishment the other week. Article 15 wich took a stripe from me and gave me 2 weeks extra duty. so i lost about 150 a pay check and had to work 13 hour days durring the week and 11 hour weekends. it sucked. didn't have the chance to do anything resembling fun. i didn't get more than 5-6 hours of sleep in one sitting. it really wore on me and i started snapping at people. meh, i'm tired. i'm tired of people taking advantage of me and not thinking i might do something about it. recently one of my close friends here i have become kinda sketchy about. and some other people i'm starting to dislike. basically besides jason, i'm starting to not like anyone here. i still get along with them, but i just cant trust them like i used to. i need to get the rest of my shit out of that damn house, and mike needs to fix his car and give mine back. its really starting to piss me off. also not having the internet at home is really starting to get to me. i'm gonna end up going off on someone pretty soon. i'm tired of the two faced bullshit and holier-than-thou attitudes some people have. and thats from people i usedto call friends. god damn i need an outlet, but the internet isn't available for me to game on till next thursday. i'm gonna end up killin someone pretty soon if comcast fucks up again. |
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| "" |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|12:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Radio | ] |
"Oh, I have patience, I simply prefer to not use it." -Death, from http://www.downtoearthcomic.com/ |
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| hmmmm |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Chevelle - Vitamin R/Crossfade - Cold | ] |
Not much to say, i've been having trouble sleeping cuz i have a nasty cough. I might have bronchitis, who knows? Life has been fairly shity recently. Been over a year and a half since i've been involved with anyone i cared about. Haven't even dated since then. Bah, i'm lonely and bitter. Some days it is such a challenge to even get up. Its just the same BS everyday. Go to work, surf the internet, go home, play some video games, drink a little, pass out, rinse and repeat. The weekends aren't much better, then I just drink my self silly till I pass out in the closet. At least when i'm drunk i'm kinda happy. But i think it all relates back to the fact that i'm just lonely. I know eventually i'll find someone, but damn does waiting suck.
Recently got voluntold into doing another Audio-Visual presentation for AFRL. This time is for the whole majcom's anual awards. So basically if I fuck up, I get a 2 star general bitching me out. NO pressure though. At least its fairly easy as long as they get me all the pictures in time and tell me what kinda music they want it set to.
I really need to set up the internet and cable in my room, been kinda on halt since i cant find the cable modem and jason has my TV. someone apparently stole my ps2 as well. it hasn't been the best of times since i've been back. I think i'll call comcast today and just pay the fine for the modem. still, it would be nice to have cable. I told jason he had till the next pay check to give me back my TV and xbox wich is Feb. 1. If not I guess i'll just have to take it back, wich i dont wanna do cuz he's my boy but I need my TV.
Life is stressfull, especially when the only way u have to unwind is a bottle full of self distruction.
That was almost peotic, I'm sure Ash will enjoy that. |
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| the easy road |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|11:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | radio | ] |
its so much easier to get "rid" of people by making them hate you.
ya know, like the people that you know u shouldn't talk to or just dont want to/cant talk to any more.
its rediculously easy as well. i guess part of that is cuz i'm blunt as all hell anyway. |
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| Tired |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|10:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sublime | ] |
I'm tired of bullshit.
I'm tired of people not being able to take the truth or the blunt way i say things to people. If u want shit dressed up then go back to elemetary school. I aint gonna lie and i aint gonna say it all pretty, i'm just gonna tell u like it is.
I'm tired of people asking me questions and phishing for the answer they want to hear. for instance asking me about a certain group of people and me knowing exactly what u are getting at and y, then getting all pissy when i call u out on it and wont say what everyone knows your thinking.
I''m tired of people trying to get me to judge people i dont know. I make a point of not doing this for a reason, my mom does it all the time and it pisses me off so fuckin much.
I'm tired of unreasoned hate and prejudice.
I'm tired of being lonely and not coming home at night or w/e and having that special someone in my life to let me recover my strength.
I'm tired of the military tellin me what to do.
I'm tired of not having cable or internet in my dorm room.
I'm tired of feeling my self slowly loose my mind every day through the same monotonous bullshit.
God damn did it feel good to be on leave but now i'm right back in the shit and i hate it even more. only 2 years 4 months and 20 days left. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|12:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hed P.E. | ] |
Break was great alot of shit happened and as ussual i dont feel like talkin about most of it.
I didn't see brandi, and that was how i planned it. i'm done with her.
threw 2 major parties at daves house in wich we had close to 150 people at each of them. most of them we didn't know but w/e. cops came to the second one and steve got jumped by a buncha asians. he was fine, just a bit shooken up by the blow he took to the head.
saw the beach wich was very nice. i missed the beach, the peaceful serene calm of it.
at the ballantyne resort over new years a ended up drinkin an ass load, inhaling a cigar. sumbling up to my room, and then puked all over it. nice ass resort too, and i puke on it. thats what u get for being ritzy. i'm sure i wasn't the only one puking that night.
saw megan, wich was good, specially since she has been after my dick for awile now and was happy she finally got some of it. too bad we only had an hour.
missed the game last night, oh well at least texas won.
u ever get those moments were u know your being a complete ass to the people your with and wonder y they put up with you or why they dont just rip your balls off were u stand? yea last night was like that for reasons i wont explain.
needless to say, i had fun on leave and really didnt want to come back. albuquerque sux, dont come here. consider your self warned. and i know there are an ass load of gramatical errors in this shit, if u cant understand it go get a brain and maybe it will come to you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|11:33 am] |
I got bored
| Your Birthdate: October 30 | 
You have the type of personality that people either love or hate.
You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken.
And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted.
Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved.
Your strength: Your flair
Your weakness: If you think it, you say it
Your power color: Scarlet red
Your power symbol: Inverted triangle
Your power month: March |
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| ready the bomb shelter.... |
[Nov. 29th, 2005|10:34 am] |
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i'll be in south florida in about 20 days. expect much mayhem, especially is jason is back as well. the park will prolly burn down for sure this time. first week will prolly be hectic, tryin to visit everyone before christmas. O well w/e. cant wait to get out of here, i've been needing a vacation for awile now. yall bitches better call me once i get down there. |
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| hmm |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|12:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Radiohead - Karma Police | ] |
well i am goin to go reposses my computer latter today. then i have some shit to do with jason and mirely but i dont remember what it is cuz i wasn't paying attention and was tired at the time. Nevermind i remember now, M is going to pay for jason's new dog, his name is Zorro. I dont remember what kinda mix he is but i'll figure it out eventually. Lab and something else, might have been australian cattle dog, dont really remember.
I need to break oliver's legs and get my 150 from him. beed a few weeks now and i need my money. i'll be taking leave sometime this dec. still don't know when cuz the leave web is all fucked up and doesn't have what it should be on there. should say like 16 days but it sez 22 it'll be about 18 days by the time i go on leave though. wich means i'll prolly take the 15th-2nd thats sounds good to me. |
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| sizzel |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|09:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | blue oyster cult | ] |
Some big shit happened but i cant talk about it. lets just say i'll be feeling the repercussions for about a year.
Other than that, not too much has happened besides moving back into the dorms(because of what happened). My 21st birthday wasn't as exciting as i had hoped. w/e, now i can go out and buy my own liquor. ADAPT sez i'm a raging alcoholic cuz i get drunk 1-2 times a month. i laughed in the TSgt's face since most people get drunk on a nightly basis here. So now i have to attend the program for 10 weeks and go to AA meetings as well. first meeting was borring as shit. i spent the entire thing sitting there wondering y i was in the room with these people.a couple guys were there for beating wives/girlfriends wile drunk, 1 guy was there from confinement for an assortment of drug/alcohol related incidents. he'll be getting kicked out of the AF in a couple months. Unless they send him to levenworth *shudder*.
1 thing i found fucked up was how the first beer i bought on my birthday i wasn't carded for. that pissed me off a bit. found out that some girl i used to hook up with out here has gone from borderline hussy to complete and total whore. cant say i didn't see that coming. she seemed like such a nice person too, oh well. i need a vacation from this place. its starting to get to me. its really hard not to get pissed off at shit here and just flip out. just about everyone i know that has beeen here for over 2 and a half years gets pissed off at the smallest little shit. thank god i'll be coming home for the hollidays. i think i would tie someone to a stick and light them on fire to celebrate hanukah.
its amazing how stupid some people get wile drunk. this kid metz who is a close friend to my boy oliver was so wasted last night, he took me aside and tells me he thinks oliver is posesed. aparently metz is a born again christian, just not as annoying as the ussual ones.he sat there talkin to me about how he proved christ's divinity and shit. i'm sittin there thinkin to my self, "wow, he's a total fuck-wit. most of this shit he is spouting off is based purely on faith and in no way shape or form is it proof of anything" i'm prolly gonna get a comment or email about that comment from someone trying to "save" me.
bah, work is boring and bobby and jordan are really starting to piss me off. they spend all day skirting work and then complain about how there is nothing to do. bobby also refuses to play me in chess anymore. i beat the crap out of him. motherfucker sits there and sez how he thinks so many moves ahead bla blah blah...... still got your ass whoped. takes me 10 seconds to make a move. took u so long i started playin blackjack with dave wile playin chess with bobby.
bah w/e.... cant wait for christmas to see all the old peeps again. maybe even meet up with kramer, though i hear he is on the run now for the shit he did a few months back. i'm tired, i need a shower, and i need a haircut. fuck i need to buy some clippers so i dont have to keep goin to AAFAS to get my hair cut. stupid regs about not letting it touch your ears or your collar. fuck i cant wait till i'm out of the military. |
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| tequilla? |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|12:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Johnny Cash | ] |
Been a couple months since I updated here, prolly cuz i'm on myspace now as well, but cant go on there till tomorrow or friday since my internet at home is down.
Moved in with a couple of my friends to Zia housing on base. The house is almost done, or at least the common areas. Was a furniture bandit to get all that free furniture.
Some people are goin the right way for an ass-woopin. One guy we are friends with will prolly die next week, but thats what u get when u fuck some guys wife wile he's deployed. We will be locking the doors that week he gets back. Cant say we didn't warn them though so hey w/e.
Other than that not too much goin on besides boozin it up and whatnot. bout a month and a half till i'm 21. |
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| smokey |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|08:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nick cannon - gigalo | ] |
i forgot to write this before when i said i was, o well
smokey got arrested for trespassing on an abandoned property. here is the story.
smokey and kramer get out of work and marshal calls them and tells them to come to his girl's address, he gives them the address and they head over to nick's gas station to pick up the usssual 10 cases of beer. they go to the address and get chased away by some old lady screaming at them. wrong address. turns out its an abandoned house a few doors down. no one was there so they sit down for awile and they get drunk, end up passin out and wake up to a crap load of people in the house yelling "the cops are coming!" kramer follows the crowd and dips out the window and down the street, at that moment the cops kick the door down. smokey is still passed out on the couch, the cops wake him up with there guns pointed at his face, he has no clue whats goin on. they arrest him and take him downtown. he gets out less than 24hrs later for time served since it was a $25 fine. all that bullshit for nothin. |
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